When Jack was a teenager he loved to dance, but he didn’t really know it. When he looked old enough he would go to nightclubs, get drunk and then dance all night. He was self-conscious and didn’t want to look foolish in front of people. This was was why he thought he needed the alcohol. Standing around the dance floor with the other guys who were afraid to dance was not much fun. But the beer helped him to get out of his head and into his body and to feel the music. It helped him to overcome his inhibitions and not care about what others thought. At the time, he did not realize that it was for the dancing that he went nightclubbing in the first place.
Now that Jack is in his 40’s. Well things are different. He realizes that he has, in many ways, wasted his life due to fear and laziness. He doesn’t even like drinking anymore; he hasn’t enjoyed it for years and years. The best time was when he was 15 – that was when it was new, fun and exciting. After that time, it just became old.
At last, now that he is middle-aged, divorced and podgy, he has decided to be bold and let loose his love for dancing. He has started to take dancing seriously. The first bold step he took was to enrol in ballroom dancing classes so that he could learn the art of dancing with a partner. Jack loves the intimacy of dancing with a partner. He loves the connection between the two of them and how they can move as one being – even with the most basic dance steps. He enjoys the structure of the dance patterns and the freedom to express himself within this structure, especially with the rumba and cha cha cha dance steps. The second bold step was to buy some real ballroom dance shoes after the first ballroom dance class.
It is ironic that when Jack was a teenager that he thought that the guys who did ballroom dancing were gay. Yet they were dancing with girls all of the time. They weren’t as cool as him and his friends, but they did not spend a lot of time on their own and with other single guys. If only he had learned to dance properly when he was young… he would be so good at it today.
Now Jack tries not to believe his thoughts and feelings. He knows he isn’t what he thinks or feels or experiences. He listens to a deeper knowing about what is good and right for him to be and do, and believes this knowing instead. It tells him what to do. (A bit like how the music tells a dancer how to move.) So when he feels like giving up and thinks that he is a hopeless dancer because he cannot seem to do the dance steps and lead his partner around the floor, he doesn’t give these feelings and thoughts any energy. He just keeps practicing. He knows that for him this is a common occurrence when he has to do something difficult. It will feel too hard at first and he will think that he will never do it. But over time he will find that it does become easier and he is able to do it. He actually will enjoy the whole learning process and will wonder what all the fuss was about when he first tried it.
This new way of being in life has made all of the difference to Jack. He is looking at what is next for his love of dancing. Maybe hip hop or jazz dancing… now that could be fun.